分からない問い

昨日、僕は友達と出かけた時に彼女が僕に一つ問いを聞いた。
その問いは「どうしてあなたはゼンギーをそんなに愛したの？」
彼女に聞かれていた瞬間に僕が短い間に僕の答えを探した。でも、見付からなかった。
だから、昨夜から、寝ながら、その問いを思い込んで、考えた。なぜか僕の頭の中に答えがないのか？
僕もう彼女のことを忘れちゃったからなのか？最初から僕は彼女のことがあまり知らなかったからなのか？
でも、もしその答えを今に知っても無駄だよね？僕が僕の生活があるし、彼女も彼女の生活がある。
彼女にとっては僕もうただの友達になったから、今にもそんなに大切じゃない。

Definition

People out there always have some kind of image of me when they see me.
I make all kinds of impression on others. For example, arrogant or cold blooded and many more. To me it's not really a big deal for me. You don't know me but yet you gives comment about me. I'm not saying you you can't say what you want.
It's just when it gets personal please get your facts right.

My main topic here is about one of worst impression of me. That's me being happy.
Being happy have many definitions. It could be money, fame, assets or many things.
I don't feel happy at all. I'm not trying to vent online like most people do in their blog. I just wanna say please stand in my shoes for once and then only say what you wanna say about me. I do have my own problem even when surrounding with all the great stuff. You don't see me accusing you of having a real good life compare to me.

We all have our own problems in our daily life. Each and everyone of us is different in our own way.

ps. I'm really not happy currently.

Gathering

Last week while I was playing basketball with xue ying I told her about the new pizza that Domino's have. Then I realised there's been a long time I've never organised a pizza gathering at my house. So I had a gathering last night.
The people who came are the usuals with a little new members.
As usual we had a blast. I had fun remembering about the past.
Never thought we could still have times like this after years graduating from high school. For those who wasn't invited I'm sorry to say but its too bad for you guys.

Promise

When I was young I lied alot and promise people with all kinds of things.
I wanted my dad to buy toys so I ask my brother to ask my dad to buy it and promise to share with him. However when I was in secondary school I realised the importance of honesty and promises. That's why I dun use the word promise anymore.
All I say is I'll try my best. Because now to me if I say I promise and I never do it I'll feel really guilty. I'll never forgive myself. But that doesn't mean I wont say I promise. If I believe I can do it den I will use it.

This doesn't only apply to me. I always hold a rule inside me. If you can't do it den dun promise me. If you promised me den dun break the promise. That's all.
Is that very hard to do that ? Is my request that hard ? I always feel that youngsters nowaday have bad attitudes. So I dun feel I'm a youngster saying that.
Can anyone show me that I'm wrong ? Where's the point in saying sorry if you just gonna do it anyway ?

Tears

My mum used to tell me about the origins of my chinese name.
My chinese name is 文. It came from a chinese god's name, 文章.
My grandma thought of it cause she wanted her grandchilds to be smart and successful.
Like all chinese do, when they named a child they will get a fortune teller's opinion. At first the fortune teller wanted to add 3 drop of waters to it turning it to 汶 but because I have many moles near my eyes indicating I like to cry that's why my name remains 文. Like the teller said, I did like to cry.

Through all my years growing up, my tears have all dried up. Like frozen glands.
Over the years many people have called me cold blooded because of my lack of warm feelings. Even when I watch sad movies or dramas I wouldn't cry. I even laughed sometime. However I have to admit my eyes always get teary. I just didn't wanna cry.

That day while I was watching 家好月圆 something happen. This drama is rumour to be full of drama, full of sadness. I watched for over 30 episodes and every time I just watched it as a normal movie but I finally cried while watching an episode.
While watching that episode my tears kept rolling down without control.
It was a love relationship problem. That's why I cried. Plus with the theme song it increased my sadness. I really hate that stupid feeling. That feeling of not being able to do anything.

Make over

Last week I chatted with my friend, Chor Pin and his classmate Su Min at my school. I haven't seen him for sometime and I felt he's very thin.
Den last Thursday he told me that SM felt he looked like a kid.
Not fitting our age and SM said I looked stylish. Maybe on that day la. Haha.
So CP ask me online to help him out. So today I asked him to meet me in Wei Cing's house. We went to get his hair cut and I thought him how to style his hair.
We had a blast with Wei Cing's family. At the end it was a success.
His hair is now more stylish. That's all I can help.
When it comes to his inner beauty there's nothing I can do.
That he has to do it on his own. Take it slow man CP. Haha.

ps. I should start charging him. Haha.

Jamming

Last Friday I went for a jamming session with some people.It was my first time jamming with a band. I was there as a vocalist.But most of all someone there to learn about the workings of a band.Most of the people there were experienced except for me.It was really not easy as just going there to sing. There were timing matter and lots. All around that session there were smiles and misses. I did messed up too. Overall it was really great. I hope that this performance goes well and also in future I hope that more of this kind of chances will come to me.
I really need to get experience. Support me !